Gather 'round, wizards and technophiles, because Elon Musk's story is about to take an exciting turn. No, we won't talk about flying Teslas or mysterious Twitter spells this time. Instead, we find ourselves in the domains of the Department of Magical Justice (DMJ) and the Federal Sorcery Commission (FSC), both of which have their sights set on Musk's most recent endeavor, Twitter (or, as it is currently known, X Corp).
In a plot twist that could've been penned by J.K. Rowling herself, the DMJ and FSC suggest that Musk may have stretched the limits of his magical control at X Corp. Their claim? He might have violated a 2022 FSC decree that outlined essential privacy and security practices rules. Yes, even billionaires must obey the laws of the wizarding world, just as youthful witches and wizards at Hogwarts must bow to Professor Snape's scrutinizing gaze.
The DMJ's parchment, laid before the Wizengamot, reads like a page-turner, pleading with a magical judge to deny X Corp's request to be released from a confidentiality agreement with the FSC and to grant Musk immunity from testifying witness. What is their point of view? At X Corp, Musk appeared to wield his wand with incredible authority, possibly compromising data privacy and security measures faster than a Death Eater confronting Harry Potter.
The DMJ claims that Musk has intimate knowledge of the current state and future direction of the company's data practices and efforts to adhere to the 2022 Administrative Enchantment.
In simpler terms, he holds the Marauder's Map to what transpires behind those Twitter curtains, akin to Harry navigating the secret passages of Hogwarts. They dismiss X Corp's request as "unfounded" and encourage the court to dismiss it as if Professor McGonagall were chastising a foolish first-year student.
If you're wondering how we got to this mystical crossroads, let's use the Time-Turner to go back in time. This isn't Twitter/X Corp's first magical duel. They paid a significant sum of Galleons—$150 million, to be exact—the previous year for failing to uphold a 2011 ruling, analogous to a wizard punished for breaking Hogwarts' regulations. Yet that's old news. What transpires now is the exodus of security and privacy experts after Musk's takeover in October. Evidently, they were less than thrilled about specific directives that appeared to defy the decree, akin to Ron Weasley's frustration when Hermione scolded him for Scabbers' escapades.
Regardless, the DMJ has raised the stakes. They claim that recent FSC depositions have revealed a "disorderly atmosphere" at X Corp, raising questions about whether Musk and his associates followed the wizarding code. Twitter's former chief information security officer, Lea Kissner, testified openly that Musk and others were making decisions that hampered X Corp's capacity to process contact data with integrity, analogous to handling the Marauder's Map without the competence to read it.
As for X Corp's response to this enchanting data privacy saga, they've been as elusive as a Niffler in Gringotts. They've refrained from offering a single word in response to the Daily Prophet's inquiries, possibly concocting their defense within the Room of Requirement, guarded by its formidable charm. Perhaps they're studying through tomes in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts library, combing their old scrolls (tweets) for the one that summarizes the situation.
Read next: 64% of City Dwellers Still Live in Slums in Low Income Countries
In a plot twist that could've been penned by J.K. Rowling herself, the DMJ and FSC suggest that Musk may have stretched the limits of his magical control at X Corp. Their claim? He might have violated a 2022 FSC decree that outlined essential privacy and security practices rules. Yes, even billionaires must obey the laws of the wizarding world, just as youthful witches and wizards at Hogwarts must bow to Professor Snape's scrutinizing gaze.
The DMJ's parchment, laid before the Wizengamot, reads like a page-turner, pleading with a magical judge to deny X Corp's request to be released from a confidentiality agreement with the FSC and to grant Musk immunity from testifying witness. What is their point of view? At X Corp, Musk appeared to wield his wand with incredible authority, possibly compromising data privacy and security measures faster than a Death Eater confronting Harry Potter.
The DMJ claims that Musk has intimate knowledge of the current state and future direction of the company's data practices and efforts to adhere to the 2022 Administrative Enchantment.
In simpler terms, he holds the Marauder's Map to what transpires behind those Twitter curtains, akin to Harry navigating the secret passages of Hogwarts. They dismiss X Corp's request as "unfounded" and encourage the court to dismiss it as if Professor McGonagall were chastising a foolish first-year student.
If you're wondering how we got to this mystical crossroads, let's use the Time-Turner to go back in time. This isn't Twitter/X Corp's first magical duel. They paid a significant sum of Galleons—$150 million, to be exact—the previous year for failing to uphold a 2011 ruling, analogous to a wizard punished for breaking Hogwarts' regulations. Yet that's old news. What transpires now is the exodus of security and privacy experts after Musk's takeover in October. Evidently, they were less than thrilled about specific directives that appeared to defy the decree, akin to Ron Weasley's frustration when Hermione scolded him for Scabbers' escapades.
Regardless, the DMJ has raised the stakes. They claim that recent FSC depositions have revealed a "disorderly atmosphere" at X Corp, raising questions about whether Musk and his associates followed the wizarding code. Twitter's former chief information security officer, Lea Kissner, testified openly that Musk and others were making decisions that hampered X Corp's capacity to process contact data with integrity, analogous to handling the Marauder's Map without the competence to read it.
As for X Corp's response to this enchanting data privacy saga, they've been as elusive as a Niffler in Gringotts. They've refrained from offering a single word in response to the Daily Prophet's inquiries, possibly concocting their defense within the Room of Requirement, guarded by its formidable charm. Perhaps they're studying through tomes in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts library, combing their old scrolls (tweets) for the one that summarizes the situation.
Read next: 64% of City Dwellers Still Live in Slums in Low Income Countries
